I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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