New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
