Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
