we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
