The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
