i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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