oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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