I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
