You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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