i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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