come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
