my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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