wakey wakey hands off snakey
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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