I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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