it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
