Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
