If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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