I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
