the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
