I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
