I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
