Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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