Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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