Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
