I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
