Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
