Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
