i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
