Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
