I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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