Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
