the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
