and you said cock pushups were impossible
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize