Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
