If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize