my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
