We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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