well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
