I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
