Sry I called you an 8
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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