WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
