her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
