Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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