there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just gargled with NyQuil
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
