Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
