yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
so much tequila, so little girl.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
