I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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