What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize