Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
