we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is it penis luge time yet?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
