please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
