I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
