What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
operation harelip BJ is a go
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
