guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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