Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
