i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
