My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize